IGP Dampare, 54, Fired for Lacking 40 Years Experience, Regrets Not Enlisting at 14

Dr George Akuffo Dampare has discovered that policing experience is not only a professional credential but a childhood planning matter. After COP Christian Tetteh Yohunu was appointed Inspector-General of Police, the official emphasis on Yohunu’s 40 years in policing left Dampare confronting the central weakness in his career: he did not join the service at age 14.

The new standard suggests that future IGP hopefuls should begin preparing shortly after basic school, preferably before adolescence becomes a distraction. Ordinary childhood activities such as football, homework and standing in assembly may now need to count as preliminary law-enforcement exposure.

Yohunu’s long service was presented as proof of institutional depth. Dampare’s shorter record, by this logic, becomes a failure of early ambition rather than a completed career. Parents have therefore been advised to identify promising toddlers for traffic-direction practice, so that by middle age they may finally possess the sacred number of years required to manage adults with whistles.

This is satire. The source story is real; the conclusions have been faithfully misinterpreted.