Muntaka Replaces Traffic Police With Cameras and Accidentally Abolishes Waakye Money

Interior Minister Muntaka Mohammed-Mubarak has replaced routine roadside traffic checks with cameras, unintentionally abolishing the small but dependable waakye economy that flourished whenever a driver was discovered without a seatbelt, insurance sticker or convincing explanation. Officials confirmed that the new cameras can detect more than 47 offences but possess no pockets, appetite or auntie nearby instructed to “put small gari.”

Motorists testing the system reportedly slowed beside the first cameras, lowered their windows and whispered, “Boss, make we talk.” The cameras responded by photographing the whisper, the unfastened seatbelt and an illegal lane change committed while searching for human sympathy. Before drivers could mention an urgent family matter or identify the important person whose number they possessed, an electronic notice had already reached their phones with the full fine and no greeting.

MTTD officers reassigned to the control room will now watch helplessly as five- and ten-cedi notes remain inside motorists’ wallets instead of becoming breakfast. Waakye sellers near former checkpoints have demanded an emergency transition programme, warning that machines may enforce traffic law efficiently but have contributed nothing to the morning economy.

This is satire. The source story is real; the conclusions have been faithfully misinterpreted.