Noguchi Sends Researchers Door to Door Asking Whether Anyone Has Seen Their Mosquito

ACCRA—Noguchi has sent researchers door to door after a mosquito being raised for insecticide-treated net tests failed to appear for work. Search teams are carrying an enlarged photograph and asking residents whether they have seen a small, dark insect whose distinguishing feature is that considerable money has been spent keeping it alive.

At the first house, a woman helpfully showed researchers three mosquitoes she had killed against the wall. The team examined each smear before asking whether she normally kept the bodies. Their missing poster specifies “DO NOT SLAP” in large letters, a request that has considerably reduced public willingness to assist. One researcher has been stationed beside a resident’s electric swatter to intercept any further misunderstandings.

The laboratory is offering a reward for the mosquito’s safe return, with two scientists remaining on a veranda overnight, listening for a familiar buzz. Meanwhile, a resident has delivered fourteen replacements in a jar. Researchers thanked him but explained that you cannot simply bring somebody any mosquito and expect them to move on.

This is satire. The source story is real; the conclusions have been faithfully misinterpreted.